Mommy meltdown

Today I cried. I had finally had it. Having children on the spectrum really sucks, and I have gone on for so long with just “dealing with it” every day that it finally happened. Mummy meltdown. Not to have a poor pity me session but seriously it was bound to happen. How long did I think I could actually go on here with 6 children, no help, and two on the spectrum. Granted there are other children who have far worse disabilities, but here in this household it is bad enough. The worse thing about having a child on the spectrum is that the do not look like they have a disability. They look so typical. But back to the mummy meltdown. It was probably brewing over March break as each child came down with a nasty stomach bug, one after the other. So when it was back to school today I was glad to be back into the regular routine. However, my Joshua had a rough time getting back into the school thing and didn’t want to go. I finally managed to get him into the truck and over to the school, but once there he put up a terrible fight and wouldn’t get out. I had to call out the VP who fortunately for me is a great guy and totally gets Joshua. So after about 15 minutes of Joshua screaming, kicking, hitting and trying to run off, the VP managed to get him under control and into the school and so I left.

Then I cried. Hard. The flow of tears felt like it would never end. For half an hour I allowed myself to scream “why me?” I allowed myself to yell at all those ignorant people who claim Autism can be cured by diet, or other things that only give us parents false hope. I allowed myself to feel the guilt and shame that comes along when my son chases the garbage man in his truck down the street screaming for him to give back his stuff, or when he has violent outbursts, or when he has a meltdown in the grocery store. I allowed myself to feel guilty about not being able to spend more quality time with my 4 typical children because Zak and Josh require me 24 / 7. I allowed myself to be me, not the supermom people think that I am.

Then I stopped. Wiped away the tears. I am a wife, a bitch and the biggest advocate for my all of my children. I am a momof6 who only has time to feel sorry for herself for about half an hour, once a month or so. Times up.

Mommy Fashion Flunkie

The other night I was talking to an old friend of mine and found out she is modelling. Even though she is so very pretty, she does have a 7 month old for goodness sake! I was amazed and, yes, so jealous.

I used to be pretty fashion savy up until about my 3rd child. Oh yeah, I had it all. Sexy nighties (how else do you think I managed to have so many darn children!), designer outfits, cool boots, the works. I always looked good - well at least I thought so. Somewhere though between the 3rd and 6th child my wardrobe started replacing itself. Suddenly I didn’t care if my face was made up, if my socks matched, or even if my hair was washed. I just cared about making it through the day without going bonkers. I had truly become a mommy fashion flunkie. I could actually become a model for all mothers out there only this is what I would be modeling:

Pyjamas that have been worn for a few days - wrinkled is the new in.

Tops that have various bodily functions embedded in them. Lets face it after a few days the smell just blends in with the rest of your body odour.

Stained clothing is actually what I call mommy tie dye.

Baggy capris are my new best friend.

Elastic waist jeans are not just for toddlers.

Who says maternity clothing is just for pregnancy?

My husbands tee’s are now mine.

As for my hair I haven’t any. Over the years I have pulled it all out.

Any other mommy fashion flunkies out there? I would love to hear from you!

Storm

I was trying to ignore yet another autistic daily meltdown, when my 10 year old son started telling me about some electrical storm that is heading our way. According to him the internet is going to be wiped out over the next 24 hrs! Asperger children are never wrong about things like this! Before time runs out, my last blog will be dedicated to clearing up a few myths about what life is really like with six children and a traveling husband.

Sex still happens, after all, this is how I was awarded my position in (hell) my household. Be prepared though, it won’t always take place in the bedroom!

No wall paper required. My children have ripped it and drawn all over the walls.

The bathroom is the local hangout for planet heroes and polly pockets.

Toilet paper doesn’t replace itself.

Duct tape is always on hand (to tie the children up) for emergencies.

“Spotless” and” toy free home” are not in my vocabulary.

My sleeves have been used to wipe snotty noses, and my socking feet to wipe up spills on the floor. (admit it, you’ve done it).

All my children are talented. Cutting bed sheets at age 4, peeing everywhere except in the toilet, setting up cable in their bedroom on their own, being a first class brat, drawing on walls, & talking on the phone for hours.

There is no such thing as childproof.

Parents of large families DO fantasize about being childless, at least for a few hours.

Meltdowns happen daily and more than once.

Family time really means sending your children outside and enjoying a glass of wine – alone.

Benadryl is my best friend.

Move over reality shows - momof6 with a capital B is here!